Back when I had credit card debt, giving up my cards was hard to do.
I tried everything else first: willpower, “just” not using them, sealing them in an envelope with a note on the outside, putting them away in a drawer, and freezing them in a block of ice. I wound up using them anyway, ripping open the envelope, making a trip home to get them out of the drawer, and microwaving my block of ice so that it would melt faster. In the end, I took a pair of scissors to them.
Why was it so hard to stop putting things on credit?
I wasn’t using them for an emergency. (No one was bleeding.) I don’t even remember what I did use them for, but it was probably a car repair, Christmas shopping, or dinners out.
So why the resistance?
I think it was fear. To me the credit cards represented some kind of a safety net. I’d get out the scissors, but then let myself get caught up in the what-ifs. (What if there’s an emergency? What if I need them? What if I want to do ____ and I don’t have the money? What if I lose my job? What I don’t get my check on time? What if what if what if what if.)
One day I finished the thoughts.
What if there WAS an emergency/whatever and I didn’t have my credit cards? Well, if it were a life or death situation, hospitals would have to treat me. If it were anything else…I’d wait til I did have the money. I’d be fine, and I wouldn’t owe money and interest.
I realized that credit cards were a net alright; but not a safety net. They were a net that I was stuck in, one that scooped up more of my money in exchange for an illusion of safety. I realized it was an illusion when I followed the what-ifs in the other direction.
What if I “needed” my credit cards, used them, “needed” them some more, and then ran out of room?
Maybe they’d raise my limit, or I’d get another one, but eventually I would owe more and more money. And at some point I’d either be refused additional credit or be unable to pay even the minimums. What if I had an emergency then? I’d have exactly the same alternatives: be treated at the hospital or wait til I did have the money, except I’d also have a huge pile of debt and guilt hanging over my head.
So I gave them up. I didn’t do it alone, but I did do it.
